a new year's resolution.
I love setting goals. I am that person that makes a daily to-do list and gets such pleasure from marking off the items on that list. Putting that little black line through those verbs is thrilling. And I get even more pleasure when the list is completed and I get to add things that I finished that day to the list.
So naturally, I love setting new years resolutions.
But in light of all the life changes that have happened within our family; birthing a child, learning parenthood, overcoming anxiety and mourning the loss of a child, I only have one new year's resolution.
To appreciate my family.
The ordinary, mundane, day-to-day moments. Because it's those moments that are life. As a new mom I wished away those moments. I wished away life. The newborn stage was tough with the frequent night feeds and hour long crying sessions all while trying to recover from a difficult delivery. It had stolen the joy of having a son. And as soon as our son began to sleep through the night and cry much less, anxiety decided to creep into my life stealing away a good portion of the infant stage. And during it all, I lost sight of how much love and support my husband was pouring into me. Now, that my hormones have leveled out and the anxiety has diminished I can see how much life I missed out on this past year. And as much as that saddens me, it also reminds me of what is truly important in life: my family.
So this year I will savor every smile, tear and tantrum from Christian and enjoy every kiss, hug and shared laugh with my husband.
This year I will live.